Relationship Survival Technique

We all fantasize about that faerie tale relationship. Men may hold one vision while women dream about another, but when it comes right down to it we all want the same thing in the end: to be happy, healthy, prosperous loved and valued for whom we are. In other words, to feel good about ourselves and our lives.

Relationships are the most challenging ways to uncover love because we need to be transparent in exposing our vulnerabilities. And often we come face to face with our own blocks, attachments and unconscious programming while our lover mirrors back to us evidence of our likes, dislikes, belief systems, judgments, compulsions and conformities. Yet we continue to return to the ring of love again and again because there's an indescribable essence inside each of us that says something bigger is at play when we come together with another.

There's no disputing the fact that we are the ones who choose how we feel. But when we are tossed all over the emotional universe with the words, expectations and agendas of others, it can get difficult to stay centered in those feelings of love, compassion, adoration and generosity that bring us inner peace, clarity of mind and the fulfillment of that faerie tale relationship. Without calmness and understanding we more easily react to situations rather than respond to them. It's our reactions that get us into trouble because we usually lash out at people we love or withdraw; neither being the loving solution to the problem at hand.

This survival technique gives you the tools to immediately return to your center anytime, anywhere and in the presence of anyone. It's easy, powerful and only requires a few minutes of your time. Life doesn't have to be difficult or complicated. In those moments when you feel the tension building between you and your partner, friends or children, use these simple steps to calm your storm so you can continue to engage in a joyful relationship dance with those you love.

Practice these 5 steps often and at times when you are not experiencing stress, in order to develop a habit of responding rationally to all situations rather than reacting from a place of fear and insecurity. And please share this process freely with others, so they too can bring themselves back into balance easily.

Steps:
(Note: you can do this with your eyes open or closed; closing your eyes eliminates unnecessary distractions and returns you to center quicker.)

1. Take several long, slow deep breaths in and out, until your focus is only on your breath. Continue this slow, focused breathing as long as necessary, allowing your mind to empty of all thoughts, without rushing the process.

2. Think of something that makes you feel good. It can be a person you appreciate, a pet, a beautiful sunset, an enchanting song or anything that gives you the feeling of joy, appreciation, love or gratitude. Stay with the feeling for as long as necessary (This helps you open your heart and shifts you out of the flight/flight reaction state.)

3. Evoke the genuine feelings of care, compassion and love and radiate these feelings towards the person, pet or object of affection you choose in Step 2. Breathe these feelings out from your heart like a stream of effervescent light and allow them to completely envelop the object of your affection.

4. Now envision your lover, friend or child and allow this same stream of love energy to infuse his or her entire being. Keep the feelings of love and care flowing and send the emotions of gratitude and appreciation to this person because it feels good to you.

5. Take a nice, deep breath in and let it out slowly, deciding that no matter how anyone else behaves, YOU are choosing to walk this earth life in love, peace and compassion.